Counseling pro tip for would be pastors: Tell people in no uncertain terms how utterly revolting they are then beat them about the face and neck with the Bible

Yesterday someone with 34 years of ministry experience basically told me and a blogging friend of mine that if he were counseling a man who is divorced and remarried, even if he had no details about the ex-spouse, the old marriage, or the situation leading up to the divorce, he would.

1. Be certain to tell the man how disgusted he was with him.

2. Rebuke the man sternly in Christ’s name for celebrating his adultry with his current wife while his former wife was still alive.

I tell you what folks, I am shocked by very little these days but that egregious lack of grace and love from a minister nearly made me sick.

Let’s be honest: God does hate divorce…and so does everyone reading this…and so do I. It is a sin, of that there is no doubt.

But as I began to look more deeply into Malachi 2:16, I found the context interesting. You see, the context is of the unfaithful spouse, the one who hurts his/her spouse deeply. It’s about being cruel to your spouse, the one that we should love and protect more than any other. God hates the actions that often lead to divorce as we know it.

Since we are talking about things that God hates, let’s take a look at another passage:

“There are six things the LORD hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a person who stirs up conflict in the community” (Proverbs 6:16-19).

Ouch! That stings! Let me just say that anyone who is throwing Malachi 2:16 at you needs to stop and take a look at Proverbs 6. We, as Christians, need to remember that there is none righteous, not even one (Romans 3:10). Imcluded in the not even one, are ministers who are disgusted with their brethren.

What we all need to remember here is that Christ died for our pride, our lies, and, all our countless other sins just as much as he died for our divorces. And, it’s often the sins of Proverbs 6 that lead to divorce in the first place.

know you cringe when you hear that! It’s thrown in your face as if divorce is the unpardonable sin. But let’s be honest: God does hate divorce…and so do you…and so do I.

The Bible makes it abundantly clear that God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16) and that reconciliation and forgiveness should mark a believer’s life (Luke 11:4; Ephesians 4:32). However, God recognizes that divorce will occur, even among His children. A divorced and/or remarried believer should not feel any less loved by God, nor should he ever, EVER be scorned by someone who calls themselves a minister.



Categories: Christianity, Marriage

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

21 replies

  1. Ministerial malpractice – so sad this happened!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Well done, James. I concur in that to celebrate a divorce, or to celebrate ANY sin for that matter is quite wrong. Obviously, divorce is a sin. But, to make people feel as if they live in an ongoing state of unforgiveness, is totally unbiblical. I would seriously question that the minister’s understanding of grace to be honest.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Wow he has 34 years of pastoral experience? I’m embarrass to say this but that’s near my age. I’m relatively a young pastor. But I think that’s unwise and not pastoral on his part.

    Liked by 1 person

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