My biggest struggle as a husband

Excellent advice here on being intentional in your marriage.

Am I the only husband or spouse for that matter that get’s caught up with the speed and barrage of life’s responsibilities that being intentional about investing and growing my relationship with my wife can become an afterthought? I’m consistently intentional with so many things in life but for some reason with the absolute most important relationship in my life it’s easy to push the cruise control button and just hope for the best. I plan and organize my day to make sure I eat what I need to eat, so my car has gas, so I arrive at work on time, so I make it to the gym, and so on and so on. I do all of these other things consistently with an incredible amount of intentionality but when it comes to the relationship that is foundational to my relationship with my children and other people in my life I can easily only make course corrections when we start to feel the effects of not being intentional.

The most recent study shows that currently 40-50% of marriages will end in divorce. Yes. That’s half. Here’s the deal. If you woke up tomorrow morning and heard on the news that you had a 40-50% chance of getting mauled by a bear when you leave your house would you prepare to leave your house a little differently? Would you do everything you could to make sure that you wouldn’t be a mauling victim? Of course you would! For some reason however when we see that statistic as it pertains to our marriages it’s SO EASY to think there’s no way it could happen to me. With such staggering statistics around marriage and the fact that marriage, next to my relationship with Jesus is hands down the most important relationship I will ever have it’s crazy to me that I can be so lazy and unintentional about how I nurture and grow it.

*Image is from the linked article

Categories: Christianity, Marriage

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

3 replies

  1. Wonderful! There is just nothing better than husbands pondering intentional love. 🙂
    I see the point they’re making about 40-50% of marriages ending in divorce, but that’s a statistic that’s a bit deceptive. We’ve never actually had a 50 % divorce rate in the US, that was a projection based on trends that never really came to be. It also doesn’t tell the whole story, a guy who has been happily married for 20 years but was once divorced is now measured as having a 50% divorce rate. Then there are the people who have been married five times who bring the statistic down to 50% even though the actual numbers show about 76% of all marriages last. So don’t let statistics discourage you, they aren’t always what they appear.


    • Lies, damned lies, and statistics, as they say 🙂

      The author does make a great point about intentionality though. Most people, and I include myself, seem to put important relationships on autopilot thinking it will all work out with little work or effort.

      I look at my daughter, she’s 20, and her boyfriend and how they behave toward each other all the time. Very focused on the other person and very intentional. When that sort of relationship discipline (for lack of a better word) starts to wane is when laziness creeps in.

      Thanks for the comment IB. As always, I appreciate your perspective.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow: “If you woke up tomorrow morning and heard on the news that you had a 40-50% chance of getting mauled by a bear when you leave your house would you prepare to leave your house a little differently?” That illustration really put it in perspective. We got to fight for our marriage by the grace of God


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