One of my older posts, but a true story by

Spring has sprung. Birds are again singing their little hearts out. The squirrels are very active and I’m reminded of a time when one particular squirrel was raiding the bird feeder and seed was flying.

I patiently resupplied the feeder for the next few days, but there’s just so much a person can take before they lose it. I don’t consider myself a violent person. I’ve never intentionally hurt anyone in my life, but something snapped in me, turning me into a fierce, fighting force impossible to control.

I knew my husband had a pellet gun, so I set out to find it and put the wrath of Kathy into that furry little creature. I had no intention of actually hurting it.  Honest!

The next day came and I was determined. The pellet gun rested on the kitchen table at the ready, the bird feeder filled to overflowing. There he was. He wrapped his four scrawny legs around the pole and scooted to the feast that waited on top.

I admired his coordination. He could have made a fortune as a performer in the circus. All he needed was a pair of extra small tights and a little tutu. He maneuvered his way around the periphery – nibbling and gobbling every last seed he could get his mitts on.

I slowly opened the patio door. He was far too busy gorging himself to notice anything. His eyes glazed as he feasted on every last morsel. I took aim, pumped the gun, pulled the trigger, caught my finger in the pumping mechanism causing myself extreme pain, and fired.

It took only a fraction of a second. He reeled. He grabbed his chest and spun around, finishing with a perfect swan dive to the ground below. It was a most dramatic death.

I immediately felt a knot in my stomach. My knees were shaking. I felt complete remorse for my actions, but it only took a moment for my grief to turn to joy as the gutsy rodent pulled himself together and dragged his poor, stunned body into the woods.

I overcame my feelings of guilt knowing that my original plan to simply scare him had worked. As my sleep took me into dream land, I envisioned myself sitting on top of that bird feeder with hands and feet bound. There, at the base of the pole, were several squirrels circling with their beady eyes focused on me. In their paws each held a little pellet gun and they were aimed at me!

I woke in a cold sweat. I ran to the window to see if it was real or a dream and there they were. A whole slew of squirrels were helping themselves to breakfast.


Categories: Christianity, Contributors, Misc.

Tags: , , ,

6 replies

  1. Glad you dug this one out of the archives Kathy, it’s a good one.


    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks for linking to my post.


  3. Thanks again for the link. This is one of my favorite funny stories of my life.



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