An Atheist in the Woods

An atheist was walking through the woods. As he was walking, he said to himself:

“What majestic trees”!

“What powerful rivers”!

“What beautiful animals”!

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.

At that instant the Atheist cried out, “Oh my God!”

Time Stopped.

The bear froze.

The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. “You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don’t exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.” “Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer”?

The atheist looked directly in to the light, “It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian”?

“Very Well,” said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head and spoke:

“Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen.”


Categories: Christianity

9 replies

  1. LOL! Ahhh…you are a blatherskite!


  2. Heard this version some time ago. It will no doubt be laughed to scorn by unbelievers, but maybe one will actually wake up, still funny as all get out.


  3. Ha! I had a little black bear sneak up on me and steal my marshmellows once. I’m not sure if he said grace first, I was too busy running for the car.


  4. A classic! No matter how many times I hear it.


  5. Reblogged this on Chaplain + Entrepreneur = Chaplapreneur and commented:

    Got to put that out there for my people. That is good.


  6. What a great morning laugh!!


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