“Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”
– Hebrews 13:4
Unless you’ve been living under a rock you have undoubtedly heard about Ashley Madison and the Ashley Madison hacking scandal by now. Without beating this story up more than it already has been, I would like to point out something that really surprised me about the whole thing and that is, almost none of the women in the Ashley Madison database ever used the site.
Got that husbands? Of the site’s over 30 million users, only 14 percent were women and many of those accounts were fake.
Got that husbands? Do you get the fact that the “guarantee” of sinful sex with a woman who isn’t your wife was based on lies and deception?
It’s easy, the site implied. No one will find out, the site led you to believe. “Life is short, have an affair,” was the site’s overt and outright dishonest appeal to your lustful desires.
Got that husbands? Do you get how sin and lust cloud judgement, distort thinking; and makes lies seem believable? Do you get how nothing other than the, nearly impossible to believe if you think about it, promise of immoral sex with attractive young strangers caused millions of men to voluntarily give their credit card numbers and personal information to people they didn’t even know just because they ran a website that essentially sold sexual sin and deceit?
Do you get that the Darling Scarlet’s of Ashley Madison were mostly a ruse?
Think about that for a minute men.
Think about that as you read what a journalist learned when she entered the disturbing world of online infidelity.
There’s something about the anonymity of the internet that gives certain men word vomit, and I planned to use that to my advantage.
I corresponded with 24 (vaguely literate) men over three days, all of whom had cheated before.
Twenty-two were married, and the remaining two were single but preferred dating married women because they were “less drama” and “not as much work” respectively.
Nineteen had children, with four telling me their full names and ages, unprompted.
Sixteen of them were over 40, which is significant because my profile states I’m 24 – the age I was in my pictures.
And one of them sent me his entire life story, including his office phone number.
With three clicks, I found his real age, his grandchildrens’ Facebook profiles and his wife’s business.
I didn’t find a magic formula that determines who will cheat when and why. People are too unpredictable for that.
However, in conversations with these 24 men, I did find four reasons that came up repeatedly.
The writer went on to say that in three days she “met” hundreds of men who were willing to throw away their marriage vows and now wonders how it’s possible to trust anyone when it’s possible that your life partner could be sitting across the table from you and smiling while secretly sending dirty pictures to girls online.
One young lady, one fake profile, three days, and hundreds of men including a man in his 60s who said: “My wife is a wonderful companion, but I want someone I cannot stop thinking about.”
Husbands of every age should wonder how they would feel If their wives said: “My husband is wonderful but I want a younger hotter man I can have indiscriminate sex with behind his back.”
We hear about the sanctity of marriage, God’s plan for marriage, and the sacred covenant of marriage all the time when same sex marriage is discussed but Ashley Madison has given me over 30 millon reasons to step back and wonder if we, as a society, value this sacred covenant much at all.
Sadly, the only reason Ashley Madison is in the news at all is because it got hacked and personal customer information was stolen when the real news should be why society has devolved to the point where Ashley Madison could have existed in the first place.
I lift up husbands to you! May your Holy Spirit redeem and transform our minds and our hearts, reconciling them to you! I pray that your peace, your wisdom, and your love reminds us daily of the promises we made to our wives on the altar and gives us power over sinful temptation and lies from the evil one.
In Jesus name,